LESLIE: Our next caller takes us to Wisconsin where Joy listens to The Money Pit on WDKM.
Joy, something about smoothing a toilet bowl?
JOY: Yes, the inside of the bowl is scratched and so it’s constantly dirty and I was wondering if there’s anything we can do to repair it or do we have to replace it.
TOM: How did the inside of your toilet bowl get scratched?
JOY: Well, I had my young son clean it and he wasn’t too happy about it and he used an old brush and he just scraped it with the metal that was on the brush. (chuckles)
TOM: Oh, no. (chuckles)
LESLIE: But he was helping.
TOM: That’s right, that’s right.
LESLIE: As far, you know, from getting it reglazed by a professional, I don’t think you have very many options.
TOM: And I don’t think it’s going to be worth the money to do that. I would just replace the toilet.
JOY: Oh, really?
TOM: Yeah. I mean you’ve damaged the glazed surface. You can’t polish it. We’re not going to tell you to drain the water out and wax the inside of your toilet or anything like that. (Leslie chuckles) But if you’ve damaged that porcelain surface, it’s not work fixing it.
JOY: Oh. Because that’s what my husband told me. So this means he’s right. That’s not good. (laughs)
TOM: He is right. Well, a man screwed it up and a man’s going to fix it for you. (chuckles)
LESLIE: No, I say put plastic wrap on the inside. Wait, let’s come up with a creative answer so that she can be right. (Tom laughs) Take a picture of a smoothly-polished toilet and put it on the inside.
TOM: No, say, “Tom and Leslie said you should drain the water out of there and get out some Simonize wax and polish it.”
JOY: OK, and that’s a man’s job, right? (Leslie chuckles)
TOM: That’s a man’s job. Right. And you have to do it every week, Honey. (Joy laughs)
LESLIE: (overlapping voices) Yeah, but you know what you should do?
TOM: (overlapping voices) So every Friday say, “Honey, have you polished the toilet today yet?” (chuckles)
JOY: (laughing) OK. Well, thank you for your help.
TOM: You’re welcome. Thanks, Joy. Thanks for calling us at 1-888-MONEY-PIT.
LESLIE: On the first day that she has her husband use that new toilet …
LESLIE: … she should put Saran Wrap underneath that seat; play a trick on him.
TOM: (chuckles) You mean kind of like short-sheet the toilet like you do when you’re playing tricks on your friends? (chuckles)
LESLIE: (overlapping voices) Yeah, kind of. That would be like short-sheeting the toilet. That’s what I would say. Good April Fool’s Day joke. Put it in your pocket; save it for later.
TOM: 1-888-MONEY-PIT, 888-666-3974. Give us a call with your home improvement questions. 1-888-MONEY-PIT.